The Pressure of ‘Natural’ Motherhood

Breastfeeding is often described as the most natural part of motherhood. But for many women, it does not come easily and that can lead to feelings of guilt, frustration, or even shame. Just as your body goes through enormous changes in the postpartum period, from adjusting to postpartum briefs or using a postpartum nappy in the early weeks, feeding your baby can also feel like a learning curve rather than an instinctive process.

The truth is, breastfeeding may be natural, but that doesn’t mean it is always simple. Recognising that it can be challenging is the first step towards letting go of unnecessary pressure.

The Reality of Breastfeeding Struggles

New mothers are often told to “trust their body” or that “it will just happen.” While that may be true for some, the reality is that a large number of mums face hurdles such as latch difficulties, low supply, mastitis, or pain. These challenges can feel overwhelming, especially when combined with exhaustion and physical recovery.

Acknowledging these struggles does not mean you are failing. It simply means you are human.

It can also be helpful to give yourself a timeline to reassess your feeding journey. For example, you might decide to give breastfeeding a go for 4–6 weeks, and if it still isn’t working, explore other options without guilt. Having a timeframe can help you feel more in control and less pressured to persist through pain or distress.

The Emotional Side of Feeding

For many, the hardest part of breastfeeding difficulties isn’t the physical challenge, it’s the emotional toll. When society paints breastfeeding as “natural,” mums who struggle may feel like something is wrong with them. But just as no two bodies heal the same way, no two breastfeeding journeys are the same.

Your worth as a mother is not defined by how you feed your baby.

Talking with others, such as a lactation consultant (LC) or your GP, can help you feel validated in your experience. Sometimes, having a professional reassure you that what you’re feeling is normal makes it easier to let go of preconceived ideas about how breastfeeding “should” be.

Alternatives Are Just as Valid

Bottle-feeding, whether with expressed milk or formula, is a perfectly valid option. Choosing what works best for you and your baby is what truly matters. Sometimes, feeding decisions are influenced by recovery needs, such as managing caesarean pain or adjusting to the new rhythm of life with a newborn.

If switching to bottles helps you rest, bond, and recover more effectively, then that is the right choice for your family.

Caring for Yourself While Feeding

Feeding, whether breastfeeding or bottle-feeding can take a physical toll. Long hours of sitting, leaning, and night-time wake-ups can be exhausting and having the right feeding supports in place can make the journey easier. This may include pillows for comfort, lactation consultants for guidance, or simply accepting help from loved ones so you can rest. During this time items like postpartum disposable underwear and postpartum bands support you during recovery and help take your mind off leakage.

Remember, caring for yourself is not selfish, it is essential for both you and your baby.

It’s also worth noting that your labour and birth experience can have a real impact on your breastfeeding journey. For example, a long or medicated labour can affect milk supply or your baby’s ability to latch in the early days. Giving yourself time and space to learn rather than expecting it all to click immediately can make a big difference in how you experience feeding.

Building a Supportive Environment

One of the biggest factors in how women experience feeding is the support they receive. Partners, family members, and friends can play an important role in normalising that breastfeeding isn’t always easy and that formula or pumping are just as nurturing.

Encouragement can also mean helping with practical tasks whether that’s preparing bottles, cooking meals, or making sure the mum has time to shower and change into fresh clothes. Small gestures of support go a long way in reducing stress and allowing space for healing.

Letting Go of the ‘Perfect Mum’ Ideal

The idea that motherhood should look a certain way is one of the biggest pressures new mums face. From the image of the glowing woman feeding effortlessly to the expectation of bouncing back physically, the reality rarely matches the picture.

Postpartum life is messy, from sleepless nights to physical recovery. Allowing yourself grace and flexibility is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

For expecting mums, doing a little breastfeeding education during pregnancy can make a huge difference. Learning about different positions, what to expect in the first few days, and where to find support can make the transition smoother once your baby arrives. Many antenatal classes now include breastfeeding sessions that help set realistic expectations and confidence before birth.

Final Thoughts

Breastfeeding may be natural, but it is not easy or possible for everyone – and that is perfectly okay. What matters most is that your baby is fed, loved, and cared for, and that you are supported in your recovery.

Whether you are navigating post partum briefs, balancing feeding choices, or simply trying to get through the day, remember: there is no “right” way to do motherhood. There is only the way that works for you and your family.